At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
