Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
