I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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