I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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