they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
