i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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