Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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