No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
