Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
