if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
