Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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