ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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