she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
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