Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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