He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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