Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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