My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
