Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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