Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
