WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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