girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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