Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
