Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
