What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
