so that wasnt chicken after all
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
