Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Randomize
