what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
