You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
you guys were way drunker than both of me
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
