the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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