Is it normal to miss your booty call?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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