I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
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i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
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I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Dick very happy bro
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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