Kiss
Puke
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
