In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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