kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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