Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
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