youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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