Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
