I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
sex in a hospital.. check
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
