I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
