Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize