dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
