burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize