We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Vodka?
Forever.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize
