I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
