Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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