I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
