i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
