Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Randomize
