I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
