Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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