what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
i now understand why vodka
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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