I looked at my own cervix.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
He literally asked permission to hit on me
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
