yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
