whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
