He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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