How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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