What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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