hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Randomize
