: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
