i barfeds in our rink
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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