So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
