I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
