I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
