is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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