HIV tests are more positive than that guy
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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