I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
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the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
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He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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