His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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