Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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