"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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