I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
